Empowerment & Relationship Coach, Author
I became an Empowerment & Relationship Coach because of two defining moments, and a resulting "compelling story," that brought me to where I am today – coaching people like you on exactly what to do to stop arguing and stay married. That defining moment in my life happened in 2011 when I started my non-profit to help disadvantaged families with their basic needs. It started out as providing goods that were needed for families, but after I built a level of trust, the floodgates opened about what was causing their hardships and how it was affecting their relationships. I was always coaching without knowing that was the name for it. Married women and women in committed relationships would flock to me and ask me advice about relationships. I even had a stranger on the train during my commute tell me that they had an STD and asked my advice on how to share this information with their mate.
When I served women in my nonprofit, who fell on hard times, coaching was a natural progression. The women would tell me their life story about all the problems with their men. I kept falling deeper into coaching so much that I decided to write my book, “Getting On My Last Nerve: 6 PEACE PLAN Strategies to Stop Arguing and Stay Married”. I wrote this book to help women who just want peace and harmony in their relationship and in their home. They want to stop arguing and feeling like they have to get a divorce after every argument. I was inspired to go all in with coaching and empowering women. I realized that many women need help. The proof is in the statistic that states that 50% of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce.
I mentioned earlier that I had two defining moments. The second defining moment happened back in 2009 when my husband suddenly became depressed because of an incident that happened with our son’s pre-school. Our son was 4 years old at the time. He reported to my husband that he saw some inappropriate images on the computer. My husband confronted the Director of the school as a concerned parent. And because he was holding the Director accountable, the Director called the police. Our son asked the police officer if his daddy was going to go to jail. This was a very stressful situation that happened which triggered my husband into depression.
He was in a very sad place. I didn't understand what was going on and how he could be so sad for days. I felt like he was being selfish and insensitive. He asked me to study what he was going through so that I would have a better understanding. My initial reaction was that I was not a Psychiatrist. I felt violated by this thing called depression that showed up out of nowhere. It was an uninvited intruder that was taking up residence in my home. It was affecting my child, and I felt helpless. There were a lot of ups and downs during this challenging time in our lives, and we argued almost every day about finances, chores, parenting and even sex! One day, my husband was not in a good mood. While we were talking, I flicked water on him in play and before I know it we were in a physical altercation. I jumped on his back, and he pulled me off like a rag doll. We cried and learned that we were not being our best selves. This was the turning point when I realized that I had to change to prevent ending up in divorce.
I cleaned up my thoughts, behaviors, and communication in my marriage to create peace in my home. I started teaching women in relationships how they can do the same. I watched their relationships improve too! I have since made a commitment to dedicate the rest of my professional life to helping other married women to learn how to communicate a disagreement and still feel loved afterward.
Since then, I’ve worked with many private clients. I lived my dream of having peace in my home through loving communication with my husband; and I have created Your PEACE PLAN Empowerment System™, a series of 12 strategies every married woman needs to stop arguing and stay married.